Her seminal work is Self-Untitled. Up until the age of twenty-six SG was ‘super morbidly obese’. She had bariatric surgery, a gastric bypass, and then started to lose the weight. In her own words, “Self-Untitled began out of sadness, pain, and anger. Emotions I felt constantly (and still do) about the way I was being treated by others and the way that I treated myself. My eating disorder was destroying my life…”. Like so many of us, she found it difficult to ask others if she could make an image of them. Unlike so many of us though, she was able to not only turn the camera upon herself, but divest herself of all of her clothing. The enormity of this decision to leave herself nowhere to hide shows the true strength of character she has. This I think is born out of the constant bullying that she endured.
I would really like to document my own, aging body, but as yet don’t possess the strength, resolve or just plain balls, to do so. By reading about and studying the work of SG over and over again, I hope to find the courage within to one day start. At the moment I am still hiding behind excuses such as “I have to have something strong to say”, “people will think I’m just an exhibitionist looking for any flimsy reason to disrobe”.
SG goes on to talk about where her drive has come from and how she has been able to create something way more than what many may see as a sideshow freak. She brings humanity, pain, love and an entire gamut of emotions to her work, something that at this moment in time I feel is way beyond me.
“Something my mentor has taught me, is that some of the best creation comes from limitations. Make a portrait that includes water. Make a portrait that includes motion. Make a portrait that is two in the space of one. Now, how do I play with these rules? How do I break the rules? (I always want to break the rules) How do I push myself to make imagery that matters? How do I make someone care? I have to put myself inside of the box in order to get out of it.” An incredible journey in such few words!
SG talks about conveying feelings and letting people in, and trying to make the intangible tangible. If I don’t have said feeling or a sleeve to wear my heart on, how do I generate something that isn’t hollow and meaningless? She tells us that her images are her mirror and the way she learns herself. I can understand this, and this I can do, but feel that at the moment it is a project that is purely one of self-discovery, much like writing a diary.
In an interview for f.stop magazine, Sarah Hadley asks;
Your work is very brave as it is about your own life, struggles and you portray yourself naked and vulnerable. Did this evolve or were you always this honest or able to put yourself out there?Samantha Geballe: I have a hard time believing my work is brave. I think it’s necessary and I wish more people would reveal themselves. I think most people haven’t a clue who they are. They’ve never seen themselves before. Something I’ve learned in taking nude self-portraits is that people are completely enamoured with authenticity as long as it isn’t their own. What’s so difficult about showing your true self? If others don’t like you, what do you make up about you?1
Not brutal, harsh, resentful or angry, just honest and direct.
And finally:
There are subliminal gender-role fuck-yous in my photographs. I sit in front of the camera as I take pictures and think that no one should be in control of what I look like, how I chose to be myself, and who I fall in love with. I find release and relief in throwing my chest high in the air as I fire the shutter. I find courage in sitting in a chair in front of my camera, legs wide open, because I can and I should. I have to photograph myself now, and it’s not an option to stop anymore, even if the photograph is only for myself. I want others to know that I am an acceptable human being, even with the miles of excess skin I wear around my body. The excess skin shows the journey and life I protected myself with and the wall I built to survive. It is my body, and it is beautiful regardless of how I or others feel about it. It has to be, even though I am still at odds with it at times.2
Reference
I see! 